When we recognize a feeling of fear or discouragement or inadequacy or hatred, when we recognize a thought that tells us that this person doesn’t like me – when we identify such feelings as thoughts and, as it were, look them squarely into the eyes and face them for what they are – just thoughts or feelings –- then the miracle can happen. They lose their reality; or at least, they lose their power to identify who we think we are, or who we think other people are.

And when they lose their power to identify, something else can take their place.  “Something else” – that’s the mystery part of this experience; it’s something else that brings peace, or strength, or reassurance.

This is where “mindfulness” and my Christian experience seem to connect.  St. Paul identifies what it means to be a Christian in his powerful, pithy statement: To be a Christian means to realize – with a realization that is a transformation – that “it is not I who live but Christ who lives as me.” (Gal. 2:20) This is where mindfulness can perform its miracle for Christians, for in the practice of mindfulness, as Buddhists teach it, the exercise of being mindful of what I am feeling or thinking is an exercise that identifies this thought as “not I” –this is not who I really am.

Mindfulness, in other words, clears my consciousness of “I” so that the consciousness of “Christ” can move in.

Mindfulness is a means that Buddhism offers Christians to really allow the “it is not I” to be felt, to be realized.  And once that begins to happen, then the realization can take place that what really defines me, what I really am, is “not I but Christ.”

For Christians, to be truly mindful is to be “in Christ Jesus.”

I'd Rather Love A Jesus Who Loves Us All

It’s National Coming Out Day today. We’ve also heard a lot lately about LGBTQ teen suicides. If you haven’t yet, I implore you to read Rev. Dr. Patrick Cheng’s Huffington Post article on the suicides, Rev. Irene Monroe’s Huffington Post article on bullying and homophobia and spend some time in thoughtful reflection on what your church has or has not done for LGBTQ people whether they are teenage, pre-teen, adult or senior.

I am not gay, and cannot therefore offer a queer perspective on these issues. I defer to others that they might speak for themselves as regards their own pain and joy. But homophobia is my problem too. It is my problem because it hurts people I love. It is my problem because too many people cloak their prejudice in the language of faith and that hurts every person of faith. It is my problem because every day straight allies neglect to speak out against it is another day that homophobia remains a “socially acceptable” prejudice. It is not acceptable. If we profess that we are made in the image of God, then God is also a gay man, a lesbian, transgender, transsexual, gender non-conforming AND yes heterosexual too.

If God is a God of justice, mercy and righteousness, then God is queer. God is with the terrorized young people of our world–never in judgment but always in love.

I admit that I have a very mixed reaction to this kind of announcement. I personally have been a bit of a spiritual wanderer in my day. I was baptized in the United Methodist church, raised Moravian, convinced Quaker, married by a Catholic priest, tried to be in the United Church of Christ for a bit, began a Zen Buddhist practice and settled back down as a Quaker (and Buddhist) again.

I know that there is some irony to my agreeing with David Wolpe, who makes the request in his blog response to “[y]oke your spirituality to a system. Be religious.” I hear in Wolpe’s admonition an echo of Karl Rahner’s thoughts on the church. Rahner advised that it was allowable to leave the denomination or faith in which one was born and raised, but that this should be an absolute last resort. From Rice’s words of frustration it seems like it may be the absolute last straw for her. Of course, Rahner, and I presume Wolpe as well, would rather hear that she’d left the Catholic church for another established church.

What might it mean to be Christian without identifying with Christianity in any of its varied and conflicting forms? Is religion only about an inner spiritual feeling–a purely vertical “I-Thou” with the divine–or is there a necessary community component to it? I can’t help but feel that the latter is true. There must be some horizontal, Earth-bound relationship among believers for “religion” to happen. Falling back on Rahner again, I see this more as a move out of the Visible Church and into the Invisible Church. Or, to quote Max Carter quoting a Quaker advice, “Christianity is not a notion but a way.” If it is a way, then can we believe it without being involved with it even in its messy, shameful progress toward enlightenment and salvation?

The author in 2004

I have taken some pretty good punches this week on YouTube directly and indirectly regarding our Union’s response to Glenn Beck video:

• “I think that first chick missed the part about gluttony maybe? Kinda hypocritical.”

• “This vid is full of fail. The only reason a person who thumbs this up is if they hate GB.
You got a fat white b*tch telling that a class changed her life? Please, do mankind a service and stop consuming so much of our natural resources.”

• “This was very helpful. I now know of one school that my child will NOT be attending. Looks to me to be filled with wombats, freaks, losers, and asexuals.”

• “’You’re actually in a famous room where I took his class 70lbs ago. I want to invite you into this iconic room and just show it to you. Here’s a door. And wood. And oh look a chair. Is it lunch yet’ A lot of winners there at Union”

• “Why don’t you people dress a little better?”

• “Why are Americans fat?”

• “Is she pregnant?”

We have taken hits about our looks, our education, even clear concerns about our sexual orientation… to get straight to the point… some people have still very much missed the boat. I am fine if someone criticizes me or even disagrees with me when it comes to my opinion on issues. I am not fine when attacks are made based on straight-up appearance. This just underscores the heart of the Liberation Theology debate. This is one of the many underpinnings of the problems in our current world, especially here in the United States that clearly needs to continue to be addressed. People judging people based on what they look like. This has been going on for so long and people have been abused, killed, lynched and attacked because of it. Enough already.

Yes, as Mr. Beck clearly states, Liberation Theology has much to do with the two categories of the Oppressor and the Oppressed… but there is so much more to it than just that. And, no, it is not about Communism or even Socialism and Marxism. For me, it is about an attitude of compassion for each other and for the opportunity to allow God’s law to break into the world… not the law of humanity, which in the current state of our world, people are denied their humanity and existence based on externals such as race, skin color, sexual orientation, religion or even what country they originate from – not to mention what they might weigh. No, this is about granting basic human rights to our fellow humans at all costs, no matter what, because all humans deserve their dignity. This country has a poor track record in this department no matter how you decide to twist the historical records, and we white people have quite a lot to still answer for. Including you, Mr. Beck. Including me.

Union has changed my life, and it was not just Dr. Cone’s class – it was an intense, three year, grueling process of insane reading, junk food and New York City pizza eating, intense paper writing, all night-ers, discussions – even arguments and the breaking down of all of the preconceived, unknown and arrogant notions that I walked into this program with. In short, these past three years, although extremely difficult, have forever changed my life on my view of the world, how I view and treat other people, and mostly, how I now view myself as a small part of a greater community of many different types of people.

The term “othering” is seen in two ways. One has a negative quality in which we base a human’s worth on qualitative means such as skin color and “race,” along with other factors such as citizenship, sexual orientation, gender, religion, etc. In this way, we “otherize” another in order to, for lack of a more academic phrase; simply feel better about our own selves, which denies them their humanity and dignity. This is polarizing and divisive.

A more positive view comes from Fred Craddock when he gives a nuanced idea of what it means to come into the space of the “Other” in his aptly titled homely, “Othering.” In this light, we break down such barriers, and remove the boundaries caused by fear that keeps us from really coming to know the real humanity of those we deem “our neighbors” but whom we find different or other than us in one form or another. Especially those who might seem just so frighteningly different from who we tend to think we are.

It is sad that people like Glenn Beck make a living off of instilling these fears into the hearts of our nation and then plays off of them to make a buck, or to promote a form of clever-racism that has the obnoxious lead out of “folks, I am not a racist.” People like him are divisive. He is not one who falls on the side of compassion for others. Instead, he is preaching the poison of fear and the negative connotation of “Othering” that continues to feed a systematic machine in this nation, which only leads to more suffering, poverty, injustice, abuse and a climate of people who refuse to look out for the widow and the orphan in our very own communities – which is in fact what the New Testament teaches us primarily. It is not the widow or orphan that might look like us or think like us that is the only concern. What about those who are totally different from us, believe differently, look differently, and might have a different life style than we do? Do they not deserve humanity and dignity too? It is those others who also, if not more so, deserve compassion from each and every one of us if we are able to extend a helping hand, or at least an acknowledgment of their humanity if we are to truly “love our neighbor as our self.”

These are the things that I have learned at Union Theological Seminary. My belief today in justice for all of my neighbors exceeds race, borders, class, skin color, sexual orientation, gender and religious beliefs… just to name a few.
Today, if there is someone that I can help, I hope to be able to extend that hand. I hope to make it my life’s work.

My fellow students and I have taken some real hits this week, and that is okay. Most had little to do with what we actually said, and were, instead, focused on our external qualities.

For me, it had to do with my current weight.

Being healthy is a very important priority and it should be for all of us.

Well, there are a few things people might want to know about me. You might be surprised to now that I moved to New York City fifteen years ago to be an actress and a model, which I was relatively successful at for ten years. At least my husband is quite impressed with my CV.

I was a member of all of the Unions, and had a pretty extensive and impressive theatre, film, TV and commercial resume as well as a nicely put together modeling composite. Although I was consistently a size 6, and believe me, I worked hard to be that size, I was constantly told by my agents that I was always a borderline “plus size” model… and those are killer words in the modeling business. I have done my fair share of intense exercise, dieting, no carbs, crazy-healthy lifestyle and internal self discipline, self loathing and scolding just so that other people thought I looked “good enough” and let me tell you… I am tired of hearing about what people think I should look like.

I probably could have done pretty well as an actress. I worked hard and seemed to be relatively talented. I left the field of acting of my own accord, however. Though I am sure the business is great for others, I was never happy, regardless of how low my weight was, or what exciting new jobs I had coming up. For me, I had a constant feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction with my life, despite some exciting successes.

Although I have always been a person of faith, over the years my connection to my Presbyterian faith was reawakening, and I was only finding myself truly ever happy when I was volunteering and being of service in my community through a relationship with God, which I very much believe God initiated within me. For me, helping others through my life of faith became the only true happiness that I have ever known. My career as an actress and model offered me no outlet to be of service to my community and I learned in time that I was just in the wrong career. I was always too busy running around completely self-absorbed and worrying what people thought of me to stop and help anyone else out for a change. Obviously, God had other plans for me.

Over the years, I have been able to find some real joy and contentment in my life, just being me, knowing that I am okay exactly how I am today. This faith based initiative I took on personally finally lead me to Seminary, and thank God, I was lead to Union because this institution is a place that instills the idea of service and justice into its students’ lives of faith in a most remarkable and life changing way. It not only changes our lives, it will change the lives of all of the people we help in our lifetimes. Coming here is an amazing experience.

I know first hand that our nation struggles with an obesity problem, but society is not completely responsible, with all of the chemicals we are being force-fed through advertisements. Hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, enriched flour, manufactured wheat, processed sugars, all at cheap costs that undercut any type of organic or non-chemical based product on the shelf, making piles of money for distributors who care nothing about what goes into products and its consumers; only the bottom line. It is hard not to buy the cheap stuff when you are on a budget. Fortunately, it seems like our selections and our consciousness is slowly transforming into a nation that cares about what we eat more than we ever have.

I know from first hand experience. Fast food is cheap… and I am a broke Seminarian pledging a life of service that walked away from a very lucrative career. I will probably just break even monthly once I start paying back my student loans. It is hard to eat healthy and exercise when you are broke, on a budget and on six deadlines. When I do have the time, I am so fried that watching TV with my husband just seems like the better choice. Clearly, there are things that I personally need to work on now that I have graduated.

For me, coming to Seminary and exercising my brain, for a change, these last three years straight, might have caused me to add on several pounds, but the weight I can lose with a healthier lifestyle… what I have learned in the process of getting this degree, I plan to hold onto for dear life. It is incredible for me to read comments about my weight today, so many years after retiring from a career where my weight was what engulfed nearly every waking moment of my self-centered life. I actually really used to care what other people thought and to a fault.

These last few years have been liberating for me. For the first time in my life, I am entirely happy with the person that I am becoming because, in this vocation, I know that I will be spending the rest of my life getting fantastic sleep, knowing that I spent my day helping my neighbor as best I can, whatever my neighbor might “look” like. I may not make my actress salary any more, but my internal joy and satisfaction is well worth the sacrifice. And now that I have my Master’s of Divinity degree… maybe I’ll have some free time to take up jogging again… but this time, only as a way to feel good, staying healthy and sharing a long life with my amazing husband who likes me just how I am.

So, being attacked about my weight might be the catalyst for this response, but my answer is that I might be fat today, but God knows I am finally happy. So for all of you who think that judging people based on what they look like is okay instead of airing on the side of compassion, I say to you… you really need to get a life. I have.

Dear President Jones:

I write with sadness over your response to Mr. Glenn Beck. I understand that you were trying to counter his hateful speech with humor, however by taking such a tone you made his words something to be laughed at instead of  something to be taken seriously.

You insinuated in your response that Mr. Beck hasn’t read the Bible. I know it was an attempt to be funny but as someone who grew up in a conservative and fundamentalist church I assure you the one thing we did was read the Bible. In fact, I would say that in coming to Union I knew the Bible better than many of my classmates. I say that not to
brag, but to drive home the point that just because there is someone you don’t agree with doesn’t mean they haven’t read the Bible. What I needed from Union was Professors to put the content of what I knew into perspective and practice. I needed someone to explain Liberation Theology, to drive home the historical background of the Scripture, to make me aware of issues outside of my privileged, white upbringing. I got that education at Union and I am thankful for it.

Your response to Mr. Beck doesn’t provide any of that background. It doesn’t explain where he got it wrong. Instead it just sends humorous jabs his way as if Mr. Beck isn’t to be taken seriously. And this is the most dangerous attitude of all. I live in the midwest. Out here everyone knows who Glenn Beck is but no one has ever heard of Union Theological Seminary. When Mr. Beck mentions a book on his show it sells out at the bookstore where I work. He holds sway with many people that Union will never reach. By taking a tone that sounds as if Union is better than Mr. Beck we feed into our own arrogance; an arrogance that assumes that the world should listen to us simply because we are Union. When in reality, outside of elite and educated circles no one really knows who Union is or what we stand for.

As a graduate of Union I beg a better response to Mr. Beck. One that takes seriously the power that he has in the current political climate. One that counters his argument with intelligence, humility and grace. One that moves past poking fun and talks about why his comments are hurtful and harmful. A response that knows that words manifest into actions and that his vitriolic speech can translate into real violence. That is the kind of response that Union needs to be
presenting.

Sincerely,
Shannon T.L. Kearns M.Div. ’09

The Catholic church in Boston is in trouble again.

The Boston archdiocese of the Roman Catholic church has gotten itself into trouble again. The current troubles revolve around children, the church and sexuality. Unlike previous years, however, this imbroglio is not about clergy sexual abuse.

Boston’s ABC affiliate carries this story about Michael Pakaluk’s column of June 4. The column argues against allowing the child of a same-sex couple admission to a parochial school. The reasons given are all patently absurd: the child would be more likely to bring pornography to school, since same-sex relationships are inherently more eroticized than heterosexual relationships; the same-sex parents of a child should not be called “parents” unless there is a biological relationship; etc.

I wonder if Pakaluk would object to adoptive heterosexual “parents” bearing that title. They have no biological relationship to the child in their care either. If procreation is the bulwark against purely eroticized relationships between adults, does that hold for the biologically infertile? Logically speaking, the adopted child of a biologically infertile couple should be barred admission from the same school on the same grounds as a child of a same-sex couple.

To deal with the 800 pound gorilla you may have noticed over in the corner of the room, I’ll add the following statements. The Catholic church in Boston has no legitimate moral standing to discuss sexual morality. I lived in Boston while the horrors of the abuse scandal were coming at long last to light. I read the reports in the Boston Globe that would later become the book “Betrayal”. I attended Mass with my Catholic wife at the one church she could bear to enter in the entire archdiocese.

Not only are Pakaluk’s arguments laughable from the standpoint of reason, but they are hate-filled stereotypes akin to blackface performances and the unedited cut of Disney’s “Song of the South”. That this was written by a faithful Catholic is disappointing but unfortunately not surprising, given the pulpit-level view of sexuality prevalent in that church. That it was published in the official newspaper of the archdiocese at the epicenter of the greatest moral failing of Christianity since its relative silence in the Holocaust is infuriating, hypocritical and nearly unforgivable.

I can only think of one verse in the entire Hebrew and Christian scripture to speak to this situation. John 11:35:

Jesus wept.

Jesus Casting Out The Money Changers At The Temple, by Carl Heinrich Bloch

A recent NY Times article on the Interfaith Center on Corporate Responsibility raises some interesting questions to face as people of faith. Shouldn’t our religious consciences extend to our investment portfolios? ICCR executive director Laura Berry believes so and also expresses a belief in the benevolence of the market:

“I actually believe that God, whatever God is, set up the system so that it works better when we don’t cheat.”

I don’t want to seem combative to someone whose heart truly does appear to be in the right place, but I’m left pretty uncomfortable by the idea that God is somehow the Smithian “invisible hand” of the marketplace. Certainly it’s no coincidence that the United States is as tied to market capitalism as it is: both this nation and “The Wealth of Nations” were issued as first editions in the same year. Adam Smith’s language of the invisible guiding hand of market corrections fit like, well, hand-in-glove with the deist theology popular among the founders of the United States.

I am left with the question of whether it is naïve or good-hearted to believe in the beneficence of the economy. I certainly wish that the stock market was set up so that it worked better when people didn’t cheat. Unfortunately, the economic markets don’t work poorly when people cheat. Rather, they stammer and stutter only when people are caught cheating.

Is it possible to invest justly? Following the advice of the ICCR is certainly better than investing without any qualm of conscience. Conscience is inconvenient. Whether it is the quotidian act of buying a cup of coffee that doesn’t fund the oppression of finca workers in Central America or the long-term plan of retiring, conscience has a real dollars-and-cents cost associated with it. The question I can’t answer is whether “just investments” are just enough. Fiscal asceticism is not a good answer for most people, but is a program of “just investment” rigorous enough to pass muster as truly a moral act?

A priest, a terrorist, an FBI agent and a covert alien on TV's "V"

I have written before about the TV show “V” and its use of religious people and imagery in a plot about aliens visiting the Earth with sinister intentions. In the wake of continued coverage of the Times Square bombing attempt, and the continuing links between the failed bomber and some radicalized militant strain of Islam, this week’s episode seemed more sinister. Allow me first to recap some salient points of the show.

An alien race who looks to be human and is called the Visitors, or V for short, arrives unannounced in major cities around the world. They declare themselves to be “of peace, always” but a few bright-eyed Americans aren’t so sure of their good intentions. Sure enough, the V are up to no good and are actually lizard-like creatures in human skin. Their claims to be peaceful are hypocritical at least and apocalyptically sinister at most. Our heroes are a TV-friendly rag-tag bunch: a terrorist, a V who has turned against their sinister machinations, an FBI agent and a Catholic priest.

This week’s episode has our heroes blow up a shuttle which they thought would be full of only evil aliens. It seems that they’ve been misinformed, as all they find in the wreckage is human remains. But wait! There’s a twist: the V learned of their plans and put 20 or so already dead humans on the shuttle instead. The guilt of our heroes is assuaged, and the priest–who had quit over the shuttle blowup–comes back to the group. Here’s where a strangely coded message comes in. Are we talking about space lizards or Muslims here?

Anyone who has studied the Islamic faith or even spoken with its adherents will be able to tell you that the official and orthodox rendering of Islam is that it is a religion of peace. People like Faisal Shahzad do not represent mainstream Islam any more than the Hutaree Militia represent mainstream Christianity. Note, however, the similarity between the message of the evil-doers on the show (“We are of peace, always”) and the message many of us try to express about Islam as a peaceful religion despite what some would do in its name.

That’s not where the between-the-lines messages begin or end. In the show, a few good people with God on their side (remember, there’s a priest!) are fighting an evil that hides among us and looks like us but isn’t even human. Their foe professes to be peaceful, but is in fact quite sinister. Their foe sees no value in human life, but our heroes have deep consciences. The priest quit fighting when he thought he had been involved in killing innocent humans. One more thing our heroes have done? They have tortured an enemy combatant to get valuable information that might save lives.

If I were a more cynical person, I might watch for Dick Cheney’s name in the end credits of the show. After all, how different is the conflict between humans and aliens on this fictional program than the conflict described by our government and media when speaking of terrorism? The enemy says that they are peaceful, but they are not; the enemy can look like anyone; the enemy isn’t even really human; we value life more than they do; we might have to get our hands dirty and permit torture to get information out of them. It’s either the hawkish line on Al Quaeda or the plot of a weekly sci-fi show.

So why does this matter anyhow? We turn to TV fictions to escape the fears and stresses of our daily lives. When we are fed a veiled narrative about what most of our nation sees as an existential struggle, those messages can seep in. I am not proposing that this program is outright propaganda. What I am saying is that the line of argumentation advanced by the government and media about the struggle with terrorism is so pervasive that it echoes through our recreation time. I don’t know if this show was purposely written to tap into that anxiety or if the anxiety itself makes these themes pop out from wherever they might hide.

I’d be interested in hearing other people’s takes on the intertwining of fiction and non-fiction narratives in the comments.

Links:

• V on ABC
• V on Hulu
• “Evidence Mounts for Taliban Role in Car Bomb Plot” NYTimes.com
• “Money Woes, Long Silences and a Zeal for Islam” NYTimes.com

Today, Good Friday, I experienced the confluence of two theological streams – one philosophical and the other devotional. I started with the philosophical on the bus to the United Nations this morning, on my way to participate in “The Way of the Cross, the Way of Peace” which would trace its way down 42^nd Street and end up in Times Square.  I was reading a piece by John Caputo in the recent issue of Tikkun whose featured topic was “God and the 21^st Century.”

Caputo, ever the devoted theologian of postmodernity, described eloquently and engagingly, as he always does, the only God he (and I) can believe in – a God who is thoroughly, intimately, and dangerously part of the ongoing and always messy process of life:  “God is not a warranty for a well-run world, but the name of a promise, an unkept promise, where every promise is also a risk, a flicker of hope on a suffering planet.”  This promise can be kept only if we work with it. The divine “promiser” and the finite “promise-ees” are in this together.

And on this basis, we have an entirely different take on the much ridiculed “God of the gaps” – the God we resort to in order to fill in the holes or gaps of our knowledge or inadequacies, only to find that science keeps filling in the blanks and pushing out God.  The way Caputo puts it can well serve as a zinger for all our “new atheists”: “God does not bring closure but a gap. A God of the gaps is not the gap God fills, but the gap God opens.”

God is that power, that presence, or that something that keeps opening, surprisingly, new gaps, new questions, new possibilities.

Caputo’s philosophical proddings were stirring in my mind as we started the “First Station” of the Way of the Cross in Dag Hammarskjold Plaza near the UN.  I was waiting for the usual prayer, traditional to Roman Catholic Good Friday liturgies and used in the “Way of the Cross, Way of Justice” that I used to attend in Cincinnati: “We adore thee, O Christ, and we praise thee, because by thy holy cross, thou hast redeemed the world.”  Instead, this is what we read and prayed from the printed program: “We adore you, O  Christ, and we praise you. BY THE POWER OF YOUR HOLY CROSS, HELP US TO CHANGE THE WORLD.”

The difference between those two formulations is the difference between two very different soteriologies – or ways of understanding how Jesus’ death on the cross saves us.  In the first, the cross redeems us by changing God – that is by satisfying God’s demand for reparation or atonement for humanity’s sin.  In the second, the cross redeems us by enabling US to change the world.

The cross doesn’t pay off God.  Rather, what we see and learn from the cross changes our hearts so that we can change the world.

And here is where I reconnected with Caputo’s understanding of the God who opens gaps. The cross and the death of Jesus represent the primary gap or new possibility that Christianity offers the world: on the cross, we see a man who was filled with the Spirit of God and who challenged the powers that be (mainly the Roman Empire) to the point that they decided he had to be “disappeared” and executed.

But rather than respond to the violent hatred of his executioners with hatred, he responded with non-violent love.  He forgave them.

That’s the new gap – the new possibility opened up for humanity:  in order to save or really change this messed up world of hatred, injustice, and greed, we have to confront the powers that have caused this mess.  But when they respond and come after us, we can’t hate them; we have to confront them with the power of love and non-violence.

It may cost us our lives.  But if we die like this – if we confront evil but do not hate the evil-doers even though they kill us – we can change the world.

This gap, this possibility, this way of living cannot be proven to bring the birth or resurrection of a new world.  But given the example of Jesus – as well as so many others like Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Archbishop Romer, the Dalai Lama – we can bet our lives on it.